You're too wonderful...I'll email and find ya on the new forum.
You're right...I'm back up. Shed those feelings of panick that the house of cards came tumbling down; they still might, but I can't help that now.
I have to see H about something today, will make the interaction very nice--I think I might just say 1 thing "sorry about making too much of our silly tiff this morning...it was nothing." and LEAVING it at that. Not asking what he thinks, nothing. He will be watching to see if I make a big deal, but I won't. He'll also be watching to see if I stay mad or am loving...that means a lot to him, I'm realizing.
I suspect, in all of our cases, things are so cyclical that we don't know what started what. I was edgy b/c of what I found. He was edgy b/c he was trying this morning and I "rejected" him with the gift thing (HUGE for him). I got edgy again....and on and on and on. So, it has to stop....things were really starting to go in the right direction for us...I want it to stay that course, it was nice. So, I'll break the cycle--goodness knows H did that TOO many times in our M.
I have to remember what I pondered this weekend...we're both coming out of bad behavior fogs. Mine during M, H during this post-explosion time. Things are slowly pushing toward the right direction, I feel--not banking on it though. The question is, can you love that person again, can you live with actions in the fog? I think I can.
