Awwww, Frank. Thanks. I read your post and see such strength that inspires me. Goodness will follow you, my friend.
SE--no, didn't hurt a bit. Well, it did enough to get me to see what I did. I had a creeping feeling that sentence was the killer. I have to work on not being so blunt. It was weird...he said he was leaving, would be back later (indicating that he's going alone) and then feigns surprise that I'm not coming. WHAT??!! I was frustrated at that. BUT...I realize that it's hard for him to be honest...still trying to be the caretaker. I don't want him to be. Like I read in Frank's posts....he views me as needy, and he hates that role of constant caretaker, as I hated it when he was in his spiral.
I guess I felt I was put in a spot and it ticked me off, so the tone and bad line.
Oh well...so I slipped. I had a good recovery. And, tonight I plan to show that there are NO hard feelings...I really don't care. I thought about approaching this tonight, but I won't. That's the old me, and H is CLEARLY not able to handle ANY talk of things, no matter how rational. He's so traumatized by me. SO, I let it go, and carry on. Hopefully my good actions outweigh the decreasing number of bad.
Also, I admit, that for some reason, I was nervous when he called and that came through in voice. He is SOO good at reading my voice and I think took it for anger. Ugh.
Another lesson: try your best with good intentions from the heart, but don't obsess over the details and being perfect, because we all know, that sure as hell won't last long!
