Thanks! I'll admit the "letting it go" part of accepting who you once were is hard. I guess that's normal, and while we're not talking R, that's my thing to sort out. Forgiving myself, getting over the shame, etc. In the past, H has really changed in our Rs..coming back as a totally different and wonderful guy. He forgave himself and still found himself worthy of approaching me again, and that's what I'm remembering.
Looking forward to nice, relaxing evening! I just bought Hs favorite GS cookies, might take him a few during work, just a friendly gesture! We used to do things like that for each other, and he was nice to get me a REALLY superb gift last week (the iPod). I hope it's not pushing the space thing.
Funny, H also bought me a spectacular gift for Christmas. I was taken aback, it was a time that he barely could stand being in the same room with me. I asked why, and he said he was still confused, but loved me. Same with the iPod. I get the feeling that through all these emotions, one that H also feels is guilt for his part in things (C said that too), and it comes out in these gifts. Go figure that he got me the iPod right after the blow-out last week. It was a little weird. We all have our ways of appeasing our guilt, I guess. I went on a binge of making dinner each night and keeping the house clean as a whistle (OK, don't ask me what happened now).
