Need some ideas/advice. In our blowout last week, H mentioned that he was in love with being single, ILYBNILWY, and sometimes does not want to be with me at home...feels like he's lying. Said that he comes home wishing that I were out so he could be alone.
I thought about separating to give him space. Is that good? He has not left, but it may be because he is confused or wants me to go first. I can't keep guessing what he wants, so I go by what I think is right for me. I'm going out of the country for 2-3 weeks in another 4 weeks, so that would give us the "short separation" that we might need. I thought I would let this time together until then to show H that I have let go, he is free, and I'm free too.
How can I give him space in the house? I try not to be in his space, be in another room, etc. If he wants to talk, he can come there...but in a friendly way so he doesn't think I'm mad.
He stays at work very late, partly b/c of a lot of work, and partly b/c it's probably more comfortable than coming home.
I am considering going out more. I'll be out tonight with friends. Tomorrow night, I might go to town after work and stay late. I have things that I want to do and might be nice for H to come home to an empty house.
This past weekend, I went on a drive for the afternoon so H could be at home alone. Since he works a lot, I don't want him to always be out of the house to get space. At the same time, I try to get around and leave him the car too.
I don't want to appear that I'm avoiding him, so I try to be quite friendly.
Also, to give emotional space, I don't talk R, don't ask loaded questions ("so you mean you were happy to share that with me??"), don't DO all the wifey things I used to (cook each night, etc) that might make him feel obligated, plan things to do together, call, ask questions about his time (other than normal chat), don't talk of the future at all. Am I missing anything? If we go into any of these, it's through his voluntary actions/words. Ex: he offers what he did at work, at night. He calls to say when he's coming home.
