Update: I called H after Dr. appt. He didn't sound distracted, 100% engaged, really cared and said he was worried all day but didn't want to call and worry me. I made a point to tell him it meant a lot to me, and it was sweet. Also, 180 for me, I had NO expectations of what he should do to show support, so whatever I got was great. Turns out, it was more than I got when I was demanding. Simple, huh? Treat someone with respect, and they actually WANT to give.
H called for his nightly check-in. We chatted, again, more than the obligatory 30 sec. He said he "wanted to tell me when he was coming home." I said "thank, that's nice of you, but don't worry about it. You come home when you need, no worries" in a caring tone. Again, letting him know that there is no leash/expectations. He sounded caught off guard.
At home, we had a nice convo. He asked lots of ?s of the Dr appt. He talked about work and really vented (opened himself up) and I listened. He brought up a statement I made about him being paranoid in the past, and I apologized. I said that I chose wrong sentiments, but felt that he let things bother him so much that he didn't see the good at times. I said I was proud of how he handled things. He was pissy/hurt, but I didn't react. I just said sorry, but didn't go overboard with sorries either.
I didn't question his going back to work. Actually came over to give me a kiss on the head...WOW. Said he was happy that I was OK.
Again, I was happy at my statements and attitude. The letting go and being the old me is nice. I feel at ease, and I guess everything comes from there.
