I have been on the BB for 4 years now. H and I recovered from his A in all areas but our sex life. Before I explain, I am certain he is "not getting is elsewhere" and is completely over the OW after months of counseling. Our marriage is great in all areas but this one. He is completely transparent and if I chose I have access to cell, email, whatever I need.
When he first returned home our sex life was sporadic to say the least. Counselor told me to give it time as he was recovering and had tremedous guilt to overcome. Then we decided he should quit his job (OW worked there) so that he could go back to college to earn his teaching credentials. This had been at the base of his unhappiness he needed to find a career that made him feel good about himself rather than continue in the same job that was making him miserable as it gave him no self worth. It was a struggle but we did it and he graduated this last December.
During his schooling he was not interested in sex. Said he had to focus on getting the classes done quickley as he was not contributing to our income and this made him feel bad especially after what had happened with A. After much battle with me telling him I needed an intimate relationship to help me heal from the A, he finally got thru to me and I backed way off in this area.
Then he had back surgery, which has prevented any physicial activity. I have been patient and understanding and no longer bring it up at all.
This past weekend our eldest son got married and the night of the wedding, he initiated. He couldnt make it work or finish if you will. He has had this problem with me since before he left me. Sometimes it worked sometimes it didnt and ofcourse the one time he tries, it does not work.
I have recently lost all the weight that I gained, am physically fit and have done everything I can think of to help but I am at a loss. I even went to the Dr. to see if it was me but she says I am normal. He seems to have lost some circumference. He will not ask the doctor.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Something I can use to create more friction? I have tried the lingerie, the initiating, etc. Any pressure I put on him sets us back.
