Well, it was a LONG 7 days and we had a GREAT time. First things frist, I want to grade myself on my goals and then later on I will give you the scoop on the trip.
1) Have fun
A+
Well, we had a GREAT time. There was almost NO tension and it was just a good trip. Too much rain and too much time in Dublin, but good over all. More on the specifics later.
2) No R talk
C
We only had 1 R talk and really she brought it up. The good news is that she said near the end that one of her biggest complaints about me was that I could never let things "just be" for any length of time without dwelling on them and that "I was going to be in a mood for the rest of the night after the conversation." I said she was wrong, that it was over, and then proceeded to be a perfect, fun loving gentleman for the rest of the evening. She noticed.
Also, the lowest moment was when I walked into a little shop after taking some pictures to find her getting men's ring's sized (I had already bought my ring earlier in the day that she knew I wanted). I exploded. BAD BAD BAD. I accused her of buying it for "him" and she got pissed and said how she was sick of this f-ing sh!t from me. Funny how it only lasted a minute. I appologized a moment later (after a short walk to cool off) and she let it drop. I don't think she really did, but it never came up again.
3) Relax
B+
I was more relaxed than ever for most of the trip. The last couple days was a little taxing because I had to drive in Dublin and it was nerve racking. We fought a bit over getting lost, etc. It was not a good moment, but it happened 6 days into the trip and was over pretty quickly. The rest of the time we were having a great time, just doing what we wanted, when we wanted. I even danced for the FIRST time with my W and we had a BLAST. I even think I was good!
4) Be positive
B
Most of the time I was just focused on having fun. The idea of being positive or negative really didn't enter my mind, just having a good time. Strange for me. I really didn't THINK too much about this stuff.
5) Roll with EVERYTHING
A
The few things that happened were isolated and I DID NOT let them contaminate my attitude. Fun and relaxing were the only things I wanted to let prevail.
6) NO EXPECTATIONS
C
Well, I admit that the reason for the R talk we had was that I was starting to get the romatic urges and it showed to my W. I guess my part of the conversation centered around getting her to just tell me if it was possible on the trip and she said "no". I suppose I was a little beyone hoping when the rest of the trip was going so well. She shut me down, but I think it was a good thing because I was easily able to move on and just be "friendly" for the rest of the trip (about 4 days). I was still nice and made some gestures but after that talk, COMPLETELY without expectations.
7) Work on communication/validation
A
Lots of this. I slipped up some, but for the most part, I was a validating fool. Of course, I didn't have much to do, but when it was called for, I did it.
8) Release angry, needy and clingy behavior
B-
Overall, good, but on day 5 she made the comment that I was under foot all the time and she felt like I was keeping tabs on her. I assured her I just enjoyed her company and proceed to go off on my own (something that I really did do some on the trip but...). This was later in the same day when I exploded and maybe (forgive my supposition) foiled her buying something for OM. She just wanted to explore the shops of the town were in for a few minutes...um... Anyway, I went off to do some more photo stuff, she went off to do... Also, for the record, I used her phone quite a bit (she had it activated for international calling) and when I had to redial a hotel I was booking with, I saw her calls to him in the list...grrrrrr. No reason to put that in here but...
9) No obsessing
A+
See the end of #8. I did NOT let this affect me. We were there to have a once-in-a-lifetime experience and I'll be DAMNED if I let that bother me. I did not obesess at all this trip.
10) Ignore negative stimuli
C
Well, if not for the blow up it would have been an A+. I did well to ignore the phone calls and her being somewhat cold some of the time. Pretty good for me.
11) NO SARCASM!!!
A
Don't remember any. Probably was some but not much if any at all.
So, overall, it was good. That said, the sitch is still the same, and reading Tim's thread, I am reminded that it will probably have to be me that makes the decision in my sitch. My W seems committed to the status quo for the forseeable future and I don't think I am going to be ok with that. I was going to evaluate my sitch and decide that I was going to do now. Well, I am going to give it a week to see how things are and then maybe I will have to take a new path. I will give you the details of the trip later or tomorrow.
It's nice to be home (well sorta) and I will catch up with you all tonight and tomorrow.
