Thanks for all that. The travel advice is great and I am printing it. As for the other stuff...
Have a wonderful time in Ireland and don't forget that it is your trip also.
I will respond to this one sentence that pretty much sums up much of your advice. I guess I think of my list as being ALL about me because I want to prove to myself that in the face of a potentially unresponsive, maybe not even kind person, I can remain positive, upbeat and have fun. In that light, those things mean this:
1) Have fun - I want to make sure that this is my MAIN focus, NOT winning back my W or trying to be something I don't feel comfortable being. 2)No R talk - It would likely go against rule number 1. 3) Relax - This is very personal because it's something I have a really hard time doing. It will be the key to #! happening. 4) Be positive - I guess this is just an affirmation. I tend to get stressed when making decisions, for me or the both of us. I just want to make sure I approach each part of this trip with good intentions. 5) Roll with everything - Ok, this one is partially about my W, but mainly more of #4 continued. I don't want to get frustrated if I get lost or can't find something I am looking for, etc. I just want to enjoy the adventure. As for my W's stuff, yea, I want to roll with that too if need be but still maintain, as you say, my sense of what I want to do. 6) NO EXPECTATIONS - Again, this goes back to my forming ideals about how things should go, and if they don't, I get upset. This COULD apply to my W, but more importantly, it's about releasing my normal tendency to obsess over everything and squeeze the life out of it. Fun is difficult to come by when you're doing this. 7) Work on communication/validation - Ok, all about the W and R here, but it's a great opportunity to practice, no? 8) Release angry, needy, clingy behavior - Simply put, GAL and make sure I enjoy Ireland to the fullest without making HER responsible for that. Like you said, if I "tag along" it doesn't do a damn thing for me, or her. 9) No obsessing - See #6 10) Ignore negative stimuli - Really more of the "stop obsessing" and being negative here. Can you tell this is my major issue? 11) No sarcasm - Self explanatory.
Leave the R books at home and pack some massage oil instead. You are not so powerful as you think you know. Your entire M does not rest on every little decision you make, though I know it seems to you as though it does right now. It really doesn't. It depends on the kind of person and partner you become in general. No one is perfect and you don't need to be either. So RELAX
Funny, I almost packed that... I know my decisions are not all powerful. I know this is JUST a trip and I am putting a lot on it's shoulders. Part of what I want to do is to drop that down a notch and then forget all the pressure I have been putting on myself.
As for romance, I'd suggest you throw in a few ardent gestures on top of the gentlemanly considerateness. Having a door opened for you is nice, but it doesn't really make the blood race, if you know what I mean. Pin her against a cliff and kiss her deeply, press into her, put your hands on her. Seriously. Tentativeness can be a real passion killer.
Tenativeness is a real passion killer...um...don't I know it. I am the king of tenativeness. That is why I started just showing confidence around her. It is my way of showing her another side of me that she hasn't seen much...ever. I don't know about the pinning and cliffs and such, but I am working towards that kind of thing. I really think it's been missing for, well, ever in our M.
Again, thanks for all the advice, and BTW, we used to watch Lonely Planet all the time, does that count?
