what do you mean you didn't live up to my billing - first there was no billing, and second, you did just that
Lol.
The way I see it you did just as I described - you got emotional, you recognized it, you felt your feelings, and then you decided to stop them and stopped them.
Ok. I can see that. I didn't think of it that way. If you look at it that way it isn't AS bad as I thought.
What, do you seriously think that if you were an excellent DBer you what, wouldn't feel any emotions or would be cool and happy? Is that even possible? As I said, perfection as I see it is owning up to and controlling one's emotions;
Again, different take on the DB thing and from that perspective, I guess I am still doing ok. I DID eventually control my emotions...12 hours later...lol.
and unless you're discussing the same things now with your W, I can say that you found a proper outlet for them hence you don't let them eat you up on the inside, and yet you don't let them get you into a heated discussion.
I AM NOT having this conversation with my W. I don't want to later either. They are still stirring around inside, but I am feeling more in control as the day goes on. You all are helping with that too.
Try to imagine what would have happened in the same situation 2 months ago - you would probably have gone ballistic, wouldn't you. Therefore you're learning. A good DBer is the one who learns AND who is getting results.
Two months ago I would have been gone for days over this, not hours. I may not have gone ballistic because it's not my nature but emotions would have overflowed for sure. I AM learning. I am still on the fence about the results. Sometimes I think they are good, sometimes I think the other bomb is just a day away. Comes with the territory I guess.
No matter how put together, calm and cool I behave when interacting with my H, he's still with the OW and still wants to be with her. Your W is clearly expressing regret and intention to stay with you. Hence I rest my case
Ok. I guess I see that, but until my W actually SAYS she's doing that it's hard for me to tell. Since I am trying NOT to interpret her every action, I would be really helped by some verbal commitment. She's not ready for that yet I suppose, and I have to face the reality that she probably won't be before this trip. I harbored some hope that she would do something like that, but it was hope, not expectation.
