Quote: It's so hard to just let go when she's right there, for the most part, trying to live life as usual. Whatever I do seems like an over reaction if that makes any sense. She lives life as usual and doesn't understand when I do/say/feel things that I never used to do/say/feel. Does that make sense? It's like no matter what I do to change, it's a reaction in her mind (as if I really don't have a will or mind of my own) and deserving of being called out as such. Not everything is an issue mind you but the more obvious ones are. If I don't answer my phone, it's an issue. If I go out more than usual, it's an issue. Talk about controlling...
Okay, I had to respond here because this describes my sitch as well. Funny, anything I say is an over reaction and she doesn't understand when I say and do things and see's them as only a reaction. Sometimes even my most innocous statements are seen as accusations. Basically, it comes down to this: everything in my house is good as long as I can pretend as if everything is good, the moment I dwell on the issue or even think about it, its my fault.
One of the other things you mentioned in your earlier posts GH is that she seems to belive that maintaining a friendship with the OM is a possibility...you already know that's what I am struggling with. Funny how things work. I sit here sometimes and think to myself, okay, if I would have even thought of maintaining a friendship with the OW when I went through this, that would have been completely unacceptable.
sorry this is more a rant than advice, and a negative one at that, but I guess I'd rather post it here then vent at home.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
