Ireland and beyond...Part 6 of the GH Saga

[PArob]

I can't tell you how hard it was to post that. I almost didn't but I did it to be honest with you all and to help others who may be reading my sitch to feel like they are not alone in making mistakes. Somehow I have gotten a reputation around here and to honor that, I feel obligated to post the good with the bad.

Dude, we all make mistakes. I'm glad to hear you're human becuase for a bit, I was thinking you were just a plant by the website moderators to make us feel good, LOL. Besides, you're right, its good to know that we all make mistakes, goodness knows I do it enough.

I just have such high hopes for myself. I think I am doing so good and then I make these stupid decisions that sets me back weeks. Also, I don't buy that we can't help ourselves. I thought I did all I could last night to "help myself" and when the time came I threw all that out the window and just went with what I felt. I made that decision. She didn't make me. I just want to know why a guy that knows better would do such a stupid, self-sabotaging thing.

I think you are making a bigger deal out of this than it is. Was it wrong? Sure. Did you backslide? Heck yes. Did you sabotage everything you worked for? No. I wonder if you even set things back as you thought you did. We can't be perfect and no one expects us to be. I know how hard it is when we do these things because I think in some sense we believe that any mistake on our part is going to send the WAS running to the OP. Okay, maybe enough pushing and prodding, etc. will eventually do that, but I think in my case, and in yours (since our W's seem to be sepearated at birth) they actually do have a good head on their shoulders and see the value in the M. As your W acknowledged, and so has mine, we are good people who have given a lot to trying to save our M's.

Stating your feelings in a direct and honest way is not wrong my friend. You did that. You backed away from it when it started to escalate. What's wrong here? You are not expected to push everything under the rug and deny feelings. At least I don't believe so.

The necklace may as well be me catching them in bed. It's that powerful in my mind now. I need to take away it's power.

Boy oh boy, Have i been here. Yes, it is a powerful thing, in your mind. The truth is, what DO you know about this necklace? Can you be certain that she never had it before? Let me let you in a little secret here, and I am so guilty of this, but face it...prior to this whole ordeal I never paid much attention to what jewerly my W had, I mean I knew certain pieces that I had bought for her and such, but before this, I never knew what she had. Our perspectives have changed here and that is a problem because we question everything that seems out of place when we don't know for a fact that it is out of place. Sure, she might have gotten it from the OM, and if so, what can be done about it? Truthfully, nothing. On the other hand, maybe it was hiding in her jewerly box for a couple of years. Hard to say. Don't give this necklace more power than it really has my friend.

Well, unfortunately, it is nearly every week for me. Most of the time it's not nearly this bad. Usually just a mood or a one liner. Hell, maybe those are worse because I am not being as direct. I DO think it made her think a bit. At NO time did she get so much angry as contemplative.

Again, I still say you are doing fine. A miss here and there isn't going to ruin everything. It happens...now the one liners and zingers could be made more direct so as not to come off as passive/aggressive and/or whiny, but that is part of the process. You are learning and you are adapting. She is recognizing that.

As many of you can attest to though, when I don't answer MY cell phone, all he!! breaks loose with her. Somehow I need to be at her beckon call yet she feels no such duty. Trust me, I don't answer on purpose but I can't see the good in it most of the time.

Amen! This is my W to a "T". Everything I do is to be transparent....everything she does is to not to be questioned. But hey, what are you going to do? Think of it this way, they are being secretive and in their minds, they view things with suspicion because of their own actions I suppose. Or maybe, its them reeling you back into the comfort zone. Who knows really. Roll with it and do the best you can.