No, in order to think how good you are at DBing we (at least me for that matter) do not expect perfection from you. Actually, to tell you the truth, I expect just the opposite - I am welcoming your whining, crying, venting all you want and banging your head against well, monitor, if you feel like doing it. I assume that you do not run away from your feelings because they are "wrong" and "victimized" but rather sit with them, feel them and vent them out (here).
And THEN, after that, I expect you to take a look at yourself, think, get yourself together and react the way you chose yourself, not the situation or your wife who is "making you" feel or behave or react. I expect you to be proactive not reactive. And that's what you are
To get through the darkest period of the night, act as if it is already morning.
The Talmud
