Wow, I fill these things up fast. Well, There is too much to summarize so if you are interested in my history I will post links to all my previous threads...
That should provide many hours of reading and catch you up should you be glutton for punishment.
Right now, my R is centered around a 7 day trip to Ireland my W and I are going on together, without the kids. It will be the first such trip we have taken in over 8 years! Geez. I am hopeful, but not expectant, that the trip will give us opportunity to connect and at least progress in building our friendship. I also think there may be a possibility for more but I am not counting on it. My biggest struggle these days is whether to ask my W about the status of the A. She seems to have either pushed it way underground, or taken a few steps back from the OM. I don't know which and I feel that it might be helpful to know more about where we are in all this, or more importantly, where SHE thinks we are in this before the trip. I suppose my brain tells me that this is a road not to go down right now, especially since I have made a promise to myself to stop all R talk until after the trip. I guess I am looking for her to tell me the OM is out of the picture so I can be more at ease with her on the trip. On the other hand, me bringing this stuff back up may also backfire and either she could just get pissed at me for once again bringing this up, or tell me simply that the OM is still around. Both responses would take us back to the days where we were not talking and the R was not even on a friendship level. That would be disastrous and take away any chance, or at least diminish the chances that we would have to enjoy each other's company on the trip. The artist known as OT has lovingly posted to my thread lately and her most recent advice centered around being direct with our spouses. I am struggling with that, having been passive-aggressive for SO many years...and that was on good day...lol. In the end, I totally realize that no matter WHAT my W thinks, or WHAT she is or is not doing, I have the ability to make my own happiness a reality on this trip and it's that knowledge I am going to focus on. I want to be in a GREAT frame of mind for this trip. It has great personal significance to me as an opportunity to photograph this beautiful country and experience it's culture. I won't let my R situation ruin that for me. So with that as my goal, I am weighing my options carefully and will make the decision, likely not to talk to her until AFTER the trip, and stick to it.
I want to thank each and every one of you who keep up with my sitch and have given me such great support and advice along the way. You all have added so much to my life. I cannot thank you enough for you kindness, understanding and thoughtfulness. You're the best, and I am enriched daily by you.
