Not that you don't already know this, but H really needs to get it into his head that his anger problems are the block. I admit, I was stubborn, defensive, fought hard. THEN, I saw the light. It took H telling me over and over again how my anger problems were what held him back, stamped out his love and made him feel hopeless. It's still traumatic for him...no matter what he does, he's still afraid of my anger.
Even yesterday, as much as I thought that he wanted to kiss butt as a sign to keep me, it was more that he didn't want to face my wrath.
I know you've told him this again and again. But, you stated it so beautifully in your last sentences...how he cared more about his anger than anything else. Is there a different way to communicate that to him? Does your C have suggestions? A letter? Email? Taped message?
