New Year, New Life, New Me...New Thread!

[StrongEnough]

Well, since ranting seems to be the thing this week, I have a little rant of my own.

I had posted before about H not helping out around here. Well, while he was gone last week, I worked my butt off getting this house is perfect shape. Now, I understand that it IS lived in and therefore will get messy. But, Ispent a lot of time cleaning and organizing his desk, which is just atrocious and looks ridiculous next to my clean tidy desk.

So, tomorrow morning we have the realtor coming to see the house and get the ball rolling. H knew there was a lot to get done today in preparation for this. Well, this morning he leaves to get a haircut, go rent movies, etc. Does not offer to help although he knows how stressed I am about everything. When he finally returns he only has an hour left before work. He asks me what's bothering me so I tell him. I told him I feel like I have to do everything around here. Even on his days off, he will do something (one thing) and then he is either wiped out and needs a nap or doesn't feel good and needs a nap. I told him I would love to nap since I get up so early in the morning but I can't because there are things to do. He gets pissed and storms off. I ask him about 15 minutes later if he was going to hold it against me all day and give me an attitude. I explained that he always reacts that way and I cannot win. If I tell him nothing is wrong he knows I am lying and I get an attitude, if I tell him he gets pissed at me and I get more of an attitude. I told him that just for once it would be nice if he took a deep breath, maybe gave me some A&V........but no, he has to explode with anger. It makes me feel like I cannot talk to him. That's when the you know what hit the fan. He was working on the screen door to one of the glass sliders and he proceeded to throw it, swearing at me and telling me to do everything myself to sell house. I told him no problem, I have been anyway. He continues to throw and slam things and my D (home sick from school) is now in tears because he is such a jerk he is literally knocking pictures off the wall slamming things. That was my boundary and he crossed it. I told him if he was going to continue to act this way and scare his kids, he needed to leave. He said fine. He apologized to D for scaring her, got dressed and left. Before he left, I told him that I am finding him selfish because it was more important to hold onto his anger and have to leave and upset the kids yet again then to take a deep breath and approach the situation differently.

So.....as per usual......I have to get this whole house ready by myself. Don't know if he's coming home tonight, he tells me he is tired of me asking him to leave....well, I wouldn't if he controlled his outbursts.

Life sucks once again.

~SE