New Year, New Life, New Me...New Thread!

[StrongEnough]

LMAO...........

[Becca1975]

[StrongEnough]

Good morning. I got early yet once again so I am already painting. Woohoo. It's the stairs to the basement and the walls are really high....can you say FEEL THE BURN??? LOL

Had a minor fallout with H last night. He was out partying with the other people from school (male and female) doing shots and all that nonsense. It irked me because he said he wasn't there to party and if they all wanted to party he would take that night to come home and visit. Well, he didn't. So, we talked about it and he said "Fine, I will go sit in hotel room and do nothing". I told him that wasn't what I was asking of him. To go have fun with his new friends and I will deal with the insecurities since they were mine. His theory was he created the insecurities and it was his fault. Ugh....I didn't want it to be a who takes the blame conversation. Actually, I didn't want to get into it at all but he could tell there was something wrong. So, now I feel like a jerk. I told him my biggest issue was that even though he had begun an EA with OW the night they crossed that line, we were all here drinking and hanging out. So, I guess I associate bad things with his drinking.

So, strike one for me. Handled it poorly. He called this morning and seemed to be in an ok mood.......a bit hungover....lol....

~SE

[always_14]

At least you were sensible and expressed your thoughts in a constructive way. Sorry it was a bit rough. He has to deal with you telling him how his actions made you feel....that can only patch with time. SLOWLY. Good that you had a nice converstation this morning, though. Bounce back--I know you can!

[StrongEnough]

Thanks Always. Things are fine between H and I. He was wiped out last night and went to bed early. All the younger people closed the bar again. Yikes! Ahh......to be in my early twenties again...would be really nice!

So, I bounced back really quickly yesterday. I got the entire painting project done.....and I'm quite proud of that! I've been up since 5:30 this morning and have most of the house cleaned (until S2 destroys it on me) and laundry almost done.

H is supposed to come home for a visit tonight. That will be nice the kids really miss him.

Not much else to report here.

~SE

[always_14]

Hey SE...thought I would post and pull your thread back up.

I know you're having a blue day today...things will get better. Sometimes the weight of everything hits all at once...but at least these days are further and further apart, pretty soon it will only be a distant memory.

You've been a great friend to me and so many here. Thank you so much. Keep hanging in there...if you need to chat, live, I can give you my email or phone.

[StrongEnough]

Thanks hun. I appreciate it. I'm just blah and not in a talky mood. I don't know what happened, I woke up in a good mood. I know I can't blame PMS. My kids are driving me CRAZY

I'm just kinda laying around, waiting for bedtime. I figure I'll just go to bed early. Hopefully I will wake up in a better mood. I just feel hopeless right now.

Thanks again.

~SE

[StrongEnough]

Ugh.......so it's another day. H was not happy last night because he thought I was taking out my mood on him. No, I just wasn't thrilled he was again getting smashed with everyone. But, it was their last night and they were partying to celebrate. I was depressed (not because of that) but did not say a word about him partying. I went to bed early and got some good sleep.

I'm still down in the dumps today H thinks it may have to do with stopping my Premarin. He could be right, but ofcourse I argued the fact with him.

I think right now I really need to set some solid goals for myself. Things that are achievable. I have been slacking off in the goal department lately. I will c&p this on the WL thread since my goals go along with that.

GOALS:

-No matter what, stick to my WW point range, drink my water, green tea and take my hoodia pills.
-I MUST start taking my calcium with vitamin d supplement.
-Reduce the ratio of caloric intake and carbohydrates to <50%.
-Get up early three times a week to exercise before I start my day.
-Keep doing the little things that make me feel good ie. nails polished, hair done, make-up on, getting out of sweatsuits.

I am really going to need you ladies to help me by pushing me to do these things. As much as I know I need to do these things for me, I can loose willpower and slack off easily.

~SE

[always_14]

Hey SE. Sorry about last night, but sounds like you and H handled it well...there will be days that you're both ticked at each other. No worries. Today is another day.

Your goals are great....they're all physical stuff (which leads to the emotional/mental), but can you think of some more emotional/life goals? How to get some PMA?

Is there a gal pal in the area that you can have a standing lunch/dinner with? You wanted to work outside of the house for a bit, can you do that, even volunteer?

Turn on the comedy channel, gal. Get some laughs today...your H is coming home today, so put on a nice outfit, make a nice HEALTHY dinner, and look forward to a nice night. Don't carry the tiff from yesterday over!

[StrongEnough]

H and I are ok today. We don't carry over problems once they've been discussed. He was more trying to help me figure out the cause of the depression.

As for the goals...the ones listed will have an effect on PMA. I am a very girly-girl (yes, embarassing to admit) so always being "made up" is great for my PMA. I am hesitant to set too many goals......and overwhelm myself. My intention was to start small and work up to bigger goals.

As far as getting out of the house..there is a night club that isn't too far from me offering line dancing lessons 2 hours a week for $5. I think I am going to go check it out. I don't know anyone who would want to go with me...but that's ok. I love to dance. Spent most of my life dancing. (not THAT kind of dancing.....tap, jazz, ballroom) So, that'll be my time out of the house. And it's great exercise.

I am looking forward to H coming home. I guess I should take something out for dinner. Healthy. I will keep that in mind.

Thanks!

~SE