Seems that H has encouraged you to have "me" time in the past (though he did get mad that you didn't have it "his" way--the nap incident). In any event, you know that this is something he cares that you have. it's his way of trying.
So, how about approaching it differently. Be excited about the night...ask him to come along. If he can't and starts acting like he doesn't want you to go either, tell him that you would love to still go, you need it--to get recharged. Tell him that you really appreciate his efforts to let you have this, it means a lot to you and really helps you. Obvisouly he feels insecure about you going out (which, I have NO idea why since he is the one who had the A). How can you assure him that nothing will happen...of course he needs to do this for himself too.
OR, you could just come out and tell him that you're not doing this to hurt him, you're trying in the M, and having space like this every once in a while, during the healing process is the best way for you. He needs to see that stopping this is actually hurting the outcome he wants. I needed to wake up to that concept, so sharing.
He obviously feels guilty, and wants everything to snap back as soon as he came home. He's afraid that if he doesn't get the outcome he wants from you, he panicks that it's not working. So, how about assuring him that you're trying, just need some space...it's a healthy thing.
