New Year, New Life, New Me...New Thread!

[StrongEnough]

Thanks Always...I am going to have to take these one at a time.

what do you think triggers H and what is he thinking? He's not just being an ass out of the blue? Was he always like this? Is he like this with everyone? What does he assume of YOU? What do you do that triggers his reactions?

What triggers H? I honestly don't know. He told me to take some "me" time and go to the mall or something. I had a slamming headache and chose a nap. When I got up he was pissed because I didn't tell him I was napping instead of going out. That in turn, pissed me off because as usual it leaves me feeling like there is a price tag for anything I do that doesn't involve him.

2) Was he being an ass out of the blue? I think he was, yes.
3) Is he like this with everyone? Nope, just me.
4) Was he like this before? For as long as I have known him.
5) What did I do to trigger his reaction? Asked him to do something for me while he was out.

Let's take a crack--this may seem harsh, but I luv ya, so don't take offense: He went bizerk b/c he had to do something for YOU and FAMILY. He feels he "does everything." He feels burdened. He feels that you're not helping enough, that he's always pulling the slack. He assumes that b/c you're home, you're not doing enough. You mentioned several surgeries in the recent past...does he think that he had to "take care of you" in an inordinate way that might have "overwhelmed him?" This always deteriorates into a crazy fight. Hmmm.

He may feel like he does everything, but he does practically nothing lately. I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, care for the kids, and such. Now I am trying to balance that w/ getting the house ready AND trying to work from home. I had to give something up, so I gave up the work from home on H's urging. (I think now it was another ploy for control because now I technically don't work) On his days off, he sits at his computer and plays his game. That's what he does. Occasionally he will help out, but not very often lately. At the time I had the surgeries, he wasn't working as he was in the process of selling the business. And yes, he used to complain to me that it stressed him out. I don't mind doing everything while I am home. But, I can't be painting and repairing AND watching my S2 at the same time.

He is very insecure and has low self-esteem, but I don't see how it ties in to events like tonight. Again, yes it was nice of him to suggest I take some "me" time...but I knew it had a price and I am paying it now.

Do the same for yourself. What are your issues with H. What triggers and where does it come from?

1) What are my issues with H? He's an ass.
2) What triggers and where does it come from? He acts like an ass.

Beyond him being an ass. I can't see much else right now. I think I am still a little heated.

To answer another one of your questions on the task list, we have one. Nothing is getting done. I am really sensing there is another reason that he is putting off this move. I am ready to pack up and go......he is very hesitant. He wanted this for a long time, now I'm ready and he is dragging his sorry ass around. Well, in the end, I don't need him to help. I can always recruit my brother's ex g/f, my dad, etc. They will help me. I can put this house on the market and sign all the paperwork, it's in my name only. I can do ALL this without even consulting him. That is a HUGE "I am taking control" statement. When and if the house sells and he isn't ready....I leave without him. I am just really disgusted and that's the point I am at right now.

Sorry....just not in a good place.