New Year, New Life, New Me...New Thread!

[StrongEnough]

Always...goreat job in recognizing your control issues, facing them and changing them!It is sad but true that it is all a form of emotional abuse. I think in all R's there is some from of emotional abuse or another from both parties. Not saying it should be this way or it's healthy, it's just a fact. H likes to tell me when I use the words "controlling" or "manipulative" that I am emotionally and verbally abusing him. Is it true? I have no idea. Maybe it is.

Becca- Yes, that kind of control you speak of is somewhat like my H. I mean if you think about it...He lets me go the casino when I want, but never spend a night there. (He has good reason for one casino but not the other) He has me on a tight leash. He doesn't trust me.....when he is the one who cheated. It must all stem fom insecurity and fear. I just love it when he tells me to go have a good time (usually I would go with my mom) and then three hours later is calling to see when I am coming home. But, when he knows full well he has broken trust by having an A...when he works outrageously late and does styuupid things like leave his shirt in the car and come in the house without one on, I am the controlling because I want explanations. Man, they are pro's at messing with your head aren't they? No wonder I saw things so much clearer when we were seperated. This was a great thing to discuss today, I have learned a lot that I never understood before.

All in all, there's no chance he!! that he is going to admit to his behavior anytime soon. Mere mention of those two words and his blood pressure skyrockets to the point his ears turn red.

Thanks everyone! Feel free to keep those thoughts coming1