Again...this is all starting to make a lot of sense to me. If I think about what would make me happy, right now...today, tonight. I would love to get a night away and go stay at Mohegan. IF I was to say to H.."You know, it would be really nice right now to get some time to myself to unwind. I think I'll book myself a room at the casino and have fun". Holy crap...no way that would fly. He would let me go to the casino (non-controlling) but not stay overnight (controlling). So, he in turn will sit there and say that he doesn't control what I do, that he lets me do what I want......but infact no matter what, there is always a small amount of control. H could be fearing that a night away from him alone could lead to an epiphany of sorts that may not be to his advantage. As long as he has some fear that he could or may lose me, he will try to control and maipulate to the best of his ability to ensure he is always in the forefront and watching what I do. Therefore, making it difficult for me to detach.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I am talking out of order here.
Sorry you brought yourself down.......go ahead talk about sex....LOL. (Or, lack thereof )
~SE
I'm moving on...at last I can see...life has been patiently waiting for me.
Me-32 WAH-35 DD-11 DS-4 H left 11-03 Piecing- 12/04 WAH again- 03/07 Married 12 years Divorce final May 15, 2007
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