GEL said something here that I think is a good point and an issue and this can hurt relationships:
QUOTE: "you need to be wary that he's not concentrating on the porn to get off....instead he needs to focus on you."
I read of some research done that when a man goes off then whomever he is looking at..either with his physical eyes or in fantasyland...that face imprints on his mind and it is a "bonding experience" for him. He is in love with that person!
One reason why some couples who are married for 60+ years and the H still thinks that she is a "hot mama" is because of this. Having sex physically and mentally!!! with just one woman makes their bond stronger.
I think that looking at studies and statistics about what porn can do in R matters more than how any of us "feels" about it! For me it is about how it hurts R.
And for most that are so obsessed with it just a simple "ok, I'll stop" won't be enough. Even if you turn off the computer...you cannot turn off the data stored in the brain...and that data playing while you are having S with your Spouse doesn't add to intimacy in M. I just think it is important to lay out the facts so that decisions can be made with more than "feelings" about it.
Porn is a huge issue today, because it is so much easier to come by. And it takes a real heart change to be able to kick it...if a person wants to.
