Quote: Is the keystrokecounter not detectable by anti spyware programs just wondering because a recent scan on my computer had said one had been installed and I opted to block it out? And of course no one seems to know how it got there lol
The website says:
Powered Keylogger 1.4 is not detected by:
Firewalls
BlackIce Filter Gate Firewall X-treme Kerio Winroute Firewall Look'n'Stop McAffe Personal Firewall Norton Internet Security Norton Personal Firewall 2005 Outpost Firewall Pro Sygate Personal Firewall Tiny Firewall Tiny Personal Firewall WinGuard Pro 2005 Zone Alarm Pro
Anti-spyware/Anti-keyloggers
Acronis Privacy Expert Suite Ad-Aware Personal Ad-Aware SE Plus AdSpy Eliminator Adware Away Aluria Spyware Eliminator Bazooka Scanner BPS Spyware/Adware Remover eTrust Pest Patrol McAfee AntiSpy Microsoft Windows AntiSpyware Personal Antispy Spy Catcher Spy Cleaner GOLD Spy Cleaner Pro Spy Emergency 2005 Spy Remover Spy Subtract Pro SpyBot - Search & Destroy SpyBouncer SpyKiller 2005 Spyware Doctor Spyware Nuker 2005 Steganos AntiSpyware Trojan Guarder WinPatrol XoftSpy XPY
Antivirus software
Avast! 4 Antivirus protection BitDefender Standart eTrust Antivirus eZ Trust Antivirus F-Prot Kaspersky Antivirus Program McAfee VirusScan Microsoft Malicious Software Removal Norman Virus Control Norton Antivirus 2005 Norton Antivirus Professional Panda Titanium Antivirus 2005 Sophos Anti-virus Trojan Guarder Golden Trojan Remover TrojanHunter
Hope this helps.
Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
Just wanted to check up on you and see how you were doing. Very sorry to hear about your discovery. I really hope that this is just an infrequent thing for him, a fantasy that hasn't become a need. You should not in any way feel guilty about spying on him at least not in this way. When things are wrong in an R, there are reasons, and if the S is unwilling to discuss those reasons then there is often something to hide. A computer is not a sanctuary of privacy in a marriage that should not be violeted, IMHO, given how easy it is to cheat online. I don't think you should be reading your S's private journal or anything that is for their eyes only.
Anyway, please let me know how you are handling things when you get a chance.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
RE Landica do HD men find themselves more drawn to porn as a substitute for not only an unavailable W, but also a more acceptable substitute for an affair?
Unavailable/LD mental attitude wife is first thing that might be true in most cases but a substitute for an A, I think that is stretching things. I think porn (LDW cases) is mostly something to get a guy through a tough spot/s. I think most guys would give up the excessive/problematic porn for the real thing.
I read/heard that sexual energy unexpressed goes some where. Work, sports, drinking, internet addictions, buying things, etc, so some porn is driven by LDW/HDH situation.
I always thought I was beyond looking for an A but reading about A's, on the net and in books, I had a light bulb moment. The circumstances i/we were in were prime triggers and fertile ground for an A to start. Pictures were not going to solve my longterm problems. So are they an acceptable substitute for an affair. Not really a substitute, just a temporary crutch.
The good side to my situation is, I work at home, don't see many women my age during any hours of the day or night, read how A's mess up people/famalies, and read if you don't fix what is wrong in your current R, many of those same problems will just follow you to the next R. I also know that I am human and have faults and can be tempted. Sorry if that is TMI or the wrong kind of info. Just my view
Thanks for checking in. Today is a better day. I did find more internet activity, but he's not logging into anything or chatting with anyone, it's just looking. Which I have decided is a good thing. I know he has desire somewhere in there. We had an interesting conversation last night. We were talking about how we couldn't believe we were going to be married 9 years this spring. I asked him if he ever thought about trying out something new, you know how we can fall into the "same old dull routines"...he said rather sheepishly that yeah maybe, but he's not real creative in that way. So, I started asking him if there were certain things he'd like to try (going off of some of the stuff I found he was looking at). He did say that he'd be into some new things, but it'll have to be me who takes the dominant role in the bedroom. Which I can deal with. Hopefully he will get to a comfortable spot where he can play the role I need to him to play too.
Sooo, he has scheduled some time for us tonight and we have had some playful emails back and forth today which make the anticipation all that more.
I am starting to relate to what you are saying about performance anxiety though. I am worried I don't have what it takes and that I'm going to feel silly putting out these "new" things to try. But I am game and it can only going to make our SL better.
Lou, I have to say, I think you are on to something with my H being insecure about S. He may just be viewing to get ideas or mentally live out fantasies he's to afraid to try in person.
Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
I'm glad you are in a better place about it. I wish I were where you are. I don't know for a fact what, if anything my H is doing. I am still living with suppositions. However, if I knew for a fact, that my H was mb instead of ml with me (especially if it were a lot) I would be extremely angry. I can't find out with any software because my H is the network administrator therefore, I can't download software onto his machine. He does that mainly to protect work files from the kids when they are on the computer. Anyway, I will just have to suck it up and talk with him about it.
As for your H. Do you plan to confront him about the porn? Do you plan to ask that he modify or change his behavior in any way? For example, that he view it with you instead?
RE darlingnicky So, I started asking him if there were certain things he'd like to try (going off of some of the stuff I found he was looking at).
Good. Now don't let him know in any way you were looking at his internet activities. (WWII strategy that works in relationships too) It is probably better he does not know where you get the ideas you want to try out.
I don't get why someone would get upset if the idea came from a book but not if it was thought about by an individual partner, but some people think if it is not original, it does not count. Now I suppose I have to invent a new math to add 2 plus 2 and come up with 4 to keep those people happy. Just kidding.
And don't do anything that freaks you out just to please him.
"Sooo, he has scheduled some time for us tonight and we have had some playful emails back and forth today which make the anticipation all that more."
Woo Hoo! Gonna get some tonight, eh? Exciting!
"I am starting to relate to what you are saying about performance anxiety though. I am worried I don't have what it takes and that I'm going to feel silly putting out these "new" things to try. But I am game and it can only going to make our SL better."
Just remember, sex isn't a particular set of things that must occur. Sex is what you make of it. Go have fun, try whatever you want. If it doesn't work, so what, move on to something else. If you don't O, so what, have fun anyway. Nothing is off limits unless you make it so. Go for it!!!!
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Yes, I agree whole heartedly that telling him why the sudden change in my bedroom behavior whole be really bad. The funny thing is that it's nothing off the wall, things I have fantasized about a million times. The difference is I was sitting back waiting for him to do these things to me and he was sitting back waiting for me to tell him to do these things to me.
So, the hard part is dealing with the fact that he is looking at this stuff A LOT. I confided in two of my closest girlfriends and it was very disheartening when they said, "what's wrong with him looking at porn?" Their view is all guys do it, no big deal. Because they are the LD spouses in their relationships, they don't really understand what it's like for me. Even tho I explain, they don't really get it. I am feeling very grateful to have everyone on the boards here, who understand where I am coming from and offer such wonderful advice!
Have a great day! Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
Yes, I am pretty mad that he is doing this and depriving me of a physical relationship with him. Right now, I don't know if I am going to confront him. I dont know what the plan is. I do know that he is really shy about talking about these things and I am using the info to learning about the things that turn him on. I am trying to use this in a positive way, to get what I want. If I can be more of what he wants and it improves our SL, than so what if he looks at porn? This is all contingent to whether or not he continues to just look, isn't chatting and our SL remains what I would like it to be. This is the plan today anyway. Stuff like this just throws you for a loop, my feelings change about a dozen times a day.
Anyway, I wish for you that you had the ability to see what he was doing. But Gel said that if you suspect, than he probablly is. The only thing you can do is just talk to him about it, or the next time you ML, show him the side of you that is dying to come out!
Good Luck! Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
Quote: Woo Hoo! Gonna get some tonight, eh? Exciting!
All I can say is... I don't think he know what was coming! I think GEL said it best, we have similiar sex needs, he was just afraid to tell me and vice versa. I think we have definitely opened up a whole new world to discover. I am looking forward to the weekend!
Quote: Sex is what you make of it. Go have fun, try whatever you want. If it doesn't work, so what, move on to something else.
Sound advice Chrome,thanks. I think that's a very healthy approach. I try to have a little sense of humor about things too. Some funny stuff happened last night, it could have been really awkward, but we were able to make jokes. ..."something about the dog finding a new toy under the bed, bringing it downstairs and dropping it into a guests lap"...now wouldn't that be embarrasing!
Thanks for your words of advice, I appreciate it so much!
Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
