Lou, thanks for your kind words. You guys are the only thing that gets me through days like this.
Quote: I can imagine it is difficult and emotionally draining to wait and continue monitoring your H w/o saying anything but from my POV, the longer you can monitor his on-line activities and not let him know how you are doing it, the more truth you will have to work with.
It is hard to even look him in the face, but I agree that it is the best thing to wait it out and watch what he’s doing for a couple of days. I want to be sure that there isn’t anything worse floating out there that didn’t come up in last nights activities.
Quote: In the mean-time how about asking him a couple of hypothetical questions like "why would a guy look at pictures if the real thing was available." You know what he was looking at and could counter his stinking-thinking answers with things you believe you want.
Good idea. I will try to bring this up over the next couple of days. I have a friend who is going thru this too with her H and could make it sound like I am talking about them.
Quote: I am not into fixing guys that have the "real thing" but would rather have a picture. I can only guess about a few things why he would.
Any additional thoughts on this are welcomed…I don’t understand this at all. The only things I have been able to come up with are what GEL said, he has fantasies he’s afraid to share with me, or perhaps the Madonna/whore complex. Who knows. This will keep my therapist in business for a LONG time. Ha ha ha.
Quote: Do you feel guilty about spying or hurt because you trusted him and found out he was doing something that broke your trust.
Both.
Quote: I think in some way, most good people want someone they can trust alomost 100% and finding out our trust was a false hope, at the time causes us to lose something inside that tells us we should not spy (in this case find out what is true).
Yes, there have been trust issues in the past. I really should not have been so naïve. Over the summer I had found some pictures he was “hiding”. They were of my closest girlfriends at a bachlorette party. A couple of them were provocative, girls having a bit of raunchy fun. I confronted him about them and told him that having those pictures crossed the line. It made me feel absolutely horrible knowing he was lurking at my closest friends like that. I couldn’t even turn to them because I was so afraid of what they would think.
I know this has probably been going on for a long time. I have just been too scared to find out the truth.
Thank you Lou, I appreciate your feedback.
Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
