Sage, in regards to the problems being easy to fix, it does seem they would be but my W just has the hardest time letting go of things espessilly things shes hurt over. I would do anything to work through these issues with her and fix them as thats all that is keeping us from happiness at this point. I cant even begin to tell you what her resentments are with me and neither could she. We go to the same therapist together and on our own and shes (the therapist) told me that shes not been able to get anything out of my W thats substantial either, but that at the very least she has serious emotional issues from her child hood to deal with. I continue to view my W as a good mother and good person with no real mental illness or serious issues, but im constantly reminded by everyone else im not dealing with someone whos reality is the same as everyone elses and its becoming harder for me to ignore. I cant tell you how many people keep telling me to move on, that id be better off including her own mother. Last thing I want to do is blame our problems on my wifes imotional issues but the reality is that has alot to do with it, espesially her coping skills as shed rather run from her problems than deal with them.
Somthing I really need to say as well, not sure its anything and I could just be reading into stuff but.... Shes also lost a quite a bit of wieght in the last couple of weeks, but she eats well and even has cheese cake and chocolates in bed at night. Shes become good freinds with a couple of the younger girls at work and I know she did coke with them at least once. She has an addictive personality and has had problems in the past, im really affraid with the radical mood/personality changes back and forth and the wieght loss while still eating she may be doing something like this. God knows if she is she wouldnt let me know or admit to it. I will say in regards to a beginners mind, ive done nothing but been supportive of my W's issues and valadated all of her feelings while we've been going through all this, and she's confided in me about everything that bothers her be it mom issue, friends, work of something thats botherd her about me. Ive told her I just want her to be happy and id do anything for her to make it happen. She knows she can count on me to be there for her and the kids and under no cercomstance with the exception of adultry would I leave her. I have read the Five Love Languages and Five Love Languages for Children as well. Both books are sittin on the nightstand in our room. The other day (sat.) when we had a big discussion on her being unhappy and feeling traped I ask if shed red the whole Five Love Languages book, she said she had and I told her mabye she should read it again. I got home from going out that night and the book was on the bed so she had been reading it when I was gone, I think thats a good thing. She just called me here at work to tell me I forgot my wallet at home and she sounded real good. She asked if I was tired and if I was haveing a good day then said shed see me tonight.
