I'm sorry to hear that you're having a bad day; but really, GH is right. And if you admire him for being a great DBer, there's a good piece of advise for you He wasn't born that way, you know. From what I read, he started at the point where he was just as miserable as we all were. Therefore he learned it, and so can you. It's not a question WHETHER you are strong, otherwise what have you being doing here all the time, pretending? The question is whether you CHOOSE to stay as strong as you were. I know it's uncomfortable, just like it is for the body to learn a new movement, or worse to change a way to perform an old movement. I read a story about a tennis player where she described how hard it was for her to unlearn her serve that was far from perfect although fast, and learn to do it properly. SHe wrote how she observed her body struggling, resisting giving up the old tried way and learning the new; how it tried to show her that the new way doesn't work, the old way is certainly better, and that the body just can't do it. She said that slowly her body adapted, when it was clear that she was not giving up. SHe just gave it time to accept the new way so that it becomes natural. And then suddenly the new serve stopped being uncomfortable forced way to move, and became her natural effortless movement. See where I'm leaning towards? Your psyche is trying to convince you that no matter what you do and whatever you change, it's not working because it's not going to work. But it is. It's uncomfortable now because you have to unlearn you tried and true ways and learn something that's new and foreign.
Besides, try to be the best person you can be for YOURSELF. Not for your W, not for your family, but for yourself; and that's when you'll find yourself "there". I think.
To get through the darkest period of the night, act as if it is already morning.
The Talmud
