Hey, its Friday! Another weekend will soon be upon us DB'ers. The family will be traveling up to Easton, PA this weekend to visit the Crayola Crayon factory....pretty exciting for the girls and I have to admit, pretty exciting for me as well.

As far as the R, well, not much to really report that I haven't already. I'm still a bit disillusioned by everything at this point and question whether I am strong enough or patient enough to keep up the good fight. The long and short of it is, I've feel as though I've been told the right things, heard the right things, but haven't seen the right things. Maybe its a patience factor, but the point is, when my W tells me that she is committed to work things out, why is it that she will still keep contact with OM? That's my dilemma...okay, I understand its hard to give up these things...but I feel as though she should have enough respect for me to at least tell me that she isn't truly committed to working it out. There can't be reconciliation/mending without 100% committment. So, that's where things stand. She says one thing, does the other. I accept that. The question is, do I have enough to keep up?

I admire some of the members here who have such great tenacity and have been so faithful to their goals. GH in particular, you exemplify true DB skills in the face of such adversity and it really seems to paying off for you. I applaud your efforts and feel so positive for your sitch.

I, on the other hand, do not know if I am that strong. I struggle with this daily. I try to be the best person I can for my W and our family, but I'm still not "there." Its nice to hear her tell me how wonderful I am, but yet know that those are just words. If I truly were wonderful, then maybe I wouldn't be here in the first place.

Okay, sorry, this is a very negative post. Most of it is just venting really, but I am getting worn down. I'm still committed to keeping my goals in place and giving it a shot at least for another month before I reevaluate and take stock. We'll see where we are then.....

Hope everyone is having a good day...I'll check in on your sitches.

"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu