I truly appreciate your directness and I can't say that I totally disagree with you. Obviously there are some things that I do obsess over that I shouldn't. I try to not let every little thing bother me. Now, that being said, when it does come time for conversation, I do strive to be direct about my feelings and how certain actions/inactions affect me. I've probably done more validating, directness etc in my conversations in the last two months than I've done in the last ten years. But, there is a fine line here. To be truthful, the knowledge that she is continuing an emotional attachement to the OM directly affects me every day. I feel hurt, betrayed and disrepected that she has a need to continue while at the same time telling me that this is what she wants in life. I have told her as much in those words. But, I can't allow those things to continue to bother me every day. She KNOWS precisely how I feel with regard to all of this.
That being said, this is where whatever emotional detachment that I can muster comes into play. I try to not let her actions and emotions get me down all the time. I let her roll with her own punches and, if she feels like discussing those feelings and emotions with me, I listen, I validate and I talk directly.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
