No you can't argue with how someone feels and this too is something that I've tended to do over the years....in all fairness, so has my W and still continues to do so. She has never been real good at communicating feelings (call it background, upbringing, whatever) but when something is bothering her, she will tend to internalize it and not discuss it. If its something I have done to make her feel that way, she would usually put it into accusatory statements.
In my own defense here, I really wasn't being accusatory and for the most part, in most of our conversations, I DO put forth my feelings in "I" statements. In our conversations, I strive to put forth how I feel without assessing blame, just stating the facts. It really doesn't get me anywhere because I feel that when I do that, it only instills guilt. As with GH's W, right now, my W takes everything very personally, whether its my words or actions.
In any event, I like the idea of not allowing the external factors to affect me so that I don't have to worry about discussing these things.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
