Quote: Why is it that I always read something like this AFTER I make the mistake of bringing the subject up with my W?
Well, really, it is just the opinion of my C that based on my W's history (as I tell it) she is more likely to have a hard time cutting loose from this guy than other people would and that I need to give it time and space to die (sound familiar?). Of course I agree with her and it was nice to have someone who has not always been totally in line with the DB way come to the same conclusions. Of course she is listening to me and validating but it still feels good.
As I have ALWAYS said about your sitch, you need to just go with this thing and see where it leads. Are you closer to a D than you were a few weeks/months ago? If not, then you are doing something right. Is worrying and stressing about things beyond your control going to move you closer to or further away from a D? You just want everything to be cut and dried, and fixed right now. You want no complications (which by the way, is a desire your W seems not to share...read:we need more excitment). It sounds like you want your old M back, something that by now you should know is not possible nor desirable. You can't keep doing, doing, doing right up until something happens and then immediately stop DB and everything else positive while you try to figure out what it means. It can't be said enough. These things you do are for YOU, not to see how they affect your W!
And...I don't think you did a terrible thing, but it would be good to know what her response was. Please post more.
