Quote: adly, I think the "excitement" she is alluding to has more to do with OM than it has to do with me.
Ok, so what did the OM and she do that was exciting other than just having an affair? It may be hard to think about but maybe there is something positive to be gained from it. As far as you asking her what she'd like to do, I think I put it wrong when I suggested you do that. NYS had it more right. I think you need to just DO things and not so much ask her what she wants to do. If your W is like mine, and we suspect they are long lost twins, then she really wants you to be more decisive and spontaneous with these things, not pay lip service and then have in never come to pass. This is the point where I think all the self focus needs to shift a bit. You and your W are entering a place where you both are exploring the marriage and seeing what it can offer. She is giving you heads up as to what SHE wants it to offer her, and you need to do the same. This seems to be the beginning of the rebuilding process and I think you should trust NOTHING that is a direct carryover from the old, dead marriage. Start fresh. Re-learn how to communicate. Keep reading. Keep growing, and encourage her, in a way she'll respond, to communicate with you...and then LISTEN to what she says without your filters on. Really hear her and repeat back to her what she says so she's clear you heard what she said. If you need clarification, ask. Again, the time for guessing and figuring things out should be a ways back for you. Now is the time to build bridges of honesty and eventually trust.
