Quote: he asks me to pause it and proceeds to tell me that she loves me, she knows this is where she belongs, that this is her life, etc. A reassuring talk, but just words nonetheless. I tell her that I understand and that I’m glad to hear it, etc.
I think this is great, however, what was in that etc? I know if my W said that to me, I would make sure she knew it was safe to say, and that I returned the sentiment. I don't know if I am off the DB path with this, but I would think then was the time to lay foundation for the "normal" life you say you want. Also, if she said she needs more excitement in her life, what did you say to encourage that? Did you ask what she thinks would help in that area? What things she'd like to do, maybe that you've never done before? What I am saying is that she, both from those words, and the affair, is telling you that she wants more out of life then simply being "mom of the year". If your "normal" life consists of TV and "veging" on Sundays, do you think there is a conflict inherent in that? I think your W is trying to communicate things to you and I wonder if you are truly listening and making the effort to connect with her. It is a question, not a statement.
