So its possible that I wasnt a man of integrity, and respect, and honor, and didnt stick to my vows. But I have no guilt over it, because she was an adulterer. and the ideals I believe in excuses me from my marriage for this.
Nope.
Transference. Projection. Her sh!t is her sh!t, your sh!t is yours. Self-accountability. Leave her out of it. Otherwise, you just may as well say "the devil made me do it."
You did mental warfare on that woman the second go-round, cuz she not only left you once, but twice, for that same two-timing honor/moral-lacking schmuck. And if she can do that...with him... twice... somewhere in a remote corner of your mind, you may wonder... what the hell does that say about me?
And now you are feeling guilty for pulling out all the stops and driving her away, so she will always know and have to live with the fact that SHE left YOU....TWICE.... you gave her TWO chances and she screwed 'em BOTH UP...HER FAULT!!!! and perhaps there is some part of you that cringes and curls up because she says she misses you so much... but you could never, ever take her back and risk opening yourself up to the possibility of that kind of hurt again. She doesn't deserve you. But you still miss her and love her. B!tch.
<nod>
Ah, BF, it's okay to be human, bud. I don't care how YOU define yourself... people do very human kinds of things when their feet get knocked out from under them.... whether they were expecting it or not.
Were I a guy and I lived in Cali, I'd take you to some crab shack on the beach, feed you, get you good and buzzed, hand you a cigar, and we'd smoke 'em while we wathced the sun go down. I"d make you rate all the babes walking up and down the beach....
Who am I kidding..????
I'd do that whether I was a guy or not....
It's good to know that there is someone like YOU out there, all disciplined and high idealed, compassionate, smart, sassy, kind-hearted... who can lose it just like the rest of us mortals, too. Cuz then I can say to you without a shadow of a doubt... you WILL get through this. If **I** can do it, so can you.
Just put away the hair shirt and self-flogger... they are SOOOO last year.
Corri
whistling to herself and she walks down the boardwalk... well, would you lookie there... BF is human and the world is STILL HERE....
