Cobra

Your post is 98.364% correct. I counted the words that were wrong, and divided by the truths.

J/K.

ok brother. brass tacks.

Thank you for the first paragraph. Very much.
Your correct, I had no right to be testing her. Not that way. Not intentional.
Not sure what you mean by my logicalling of women though. Thats something I speak against.
Although general, your third paragraph is almost dead accurate.


I spent years encouraging and assisting her to become ... her own person? confidant? not needy? .....self sufficient.
I dont want a woman that needs me. pfff too easy. I wanted a woman that wanted/chose me. She often said 'I choose you everyday' and I would shudder, and think well it can change then, because I chose YOU on ONE day. our wedding day. as-is, lifetime deal. When it gets rough we will work on it, or white knuckle it untill things simmer down again. It always comes back around. When things get rough, you dont have to like it. You just have to do it.

So I gave her what I wanted, commitment and she gave me what she wanted, daily re-affirmations of love. But thats not love--to me. You can get that anywhere. Love is not something you get from another person. Its built together But if I had given her what she wanted, it wouldnt have changed.
More of this different perspectives on feeling love.

But only then will you be able to set aside your ego and realize that sometimes even PRINCIPAL is not sufficient to override love. Principal may let you sleep at night, but it won’t make you happy. Only love will do that.
Actually it doesnt allow me to sleep. Hence my postings. But I pounded principal into myself for a long time. Am I a man that makes choices, decisions, or a animal that gets lead about willy-nilly by my biology? Currently its questionable for me. And I hate that. So I focus on me and dont worry about her.
Where do you draw the line on emotional abuse of cheaters, the lack of respect for self and others and integrity? and setting aside ego? Rhetorical, because I drew my line. Living with it. I have my opinion on love, and she has hers. The leftover EC is reminder of my mistakes.

Very romantic espousings for a athiest/agnostic? though. My former best friend doesnt believe in anything that is not a chemical/nueral reaction. His words. No such thing as love, integrity or honor. Just survival of the fittest. attraction and mating.

But she holds the keys to your understanding and vice versa I believe this is true also, and why I am so ANTI divorce.

On the path you are heading, with the anger I sense in you, the determination to go your path alone, to hell with the world, you will become bitter and resentful
Ill be ok, but thank you for the concern and warning. They will subside. I will get my even keel back. I personally just cant handle infidelity. I tried once. I hope this doesnt mean its my personal puzzle.

The hurt is what makes your present path seem the logical choice. But years from now, that hurt is subside, the need for any sort of vengeance will fade and the logic of “punishing” your ex, dooming her to her choices, will not make any sense at all. But then it will be too late.

absolutely. .....In fact I pretty much told her the same thing, in Tx. She smirked at me. said ' ill have to live with it.'

Don’t be a fool
Too late. Where were you april of 04? I was just down the street from you.
At what point do you stop letting your yes mean yes and your NO, NO. She said, I am not the one for her.
.
Cold turkey is hard enough allready. I would probably do much better getting over her, were I too step away from here. Thank you again for stopping me from the self whupping.

You were and are not all that omniscient.
your right, and it Irks me to no end. More meditation required at the alter of self discipline. I can do it. I know I can. j/k