Blackfoot I really do understand about having the X cross a line that cannot be uncrossed. I understand about the need to say enough is enough. Whenever I read your introspective posts I can't help but think you are artificially closing a door that doesn't need to be closed yet. A door that you know in the back of your mind could be the door that leads you back to happiness, but something is driving you to work against your own self interest. I used to have a problem with my temper. I don't anymore but I remember distinctly it was as if I was a third person in the room watching this maniac berate someone he loved for no good reason. I'd sit above it all thinking "he really needs to stop" but I couldn't stop. Why do I feel like you are in a slow motion version of this? Sitting over top knowing that you shouldn't close this door but somehow powerless to stop it?
Maybe I'm wrong (hell it happenned a couple of times in the 70's and maybe once in the 90's now that I think about it), but I get a very strong feeling from your posts.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
