Hi BF Thanks for taking the time to respond to my "attraction" post. I am sort of ignoring it now because I'm not sure I should be going down this road. Don't be offended but I'm not going to get into the details of my attraction to H. That is too personal even to share on this board. Go figure. I am certainly interested in this: Or should I be doing something proactive to fight it? And what? Good question. I gave you some ideas for this before. remember? Let me know if you need a reminder. Yes I do need a reminder. I want to be able to change my perception of this "attraction" problem. I don't want to dwell on the negative but I am sort of stuck on how to really see him as I WANT to see him, my H, my sexual partner, lover, etc. We are soooo stuck in friend mode even now, even with the improvement in our SL and communication. Just brought up the eyes open sex with om comment on GEL's thread. It would be so strange to do that with H. And not just on his end, but mine as well. It's so.....not intimate, as much as raw sex. In your face. That is just not us. And there in lies the rub. Even after all the drama we have been through the past year or two, I wonder about my expectations. I look at Chrome and his continual optimism and I go , wow, how does he do it? How does he stay so confident that things will get to "sexual bliss." I am just not in that mind frame at all right now. I'm not feeling bad about us either though. I feel like I am being realistic about what we can achieve together. And it is a lot! We are great parents, best friends, good partners, but the SL is not what I would choose. I need to keep those positives in mind and continue to work on improving the SL.
