Your a strange bird Stigmata.
And I do mean that as a compliment. Really!
Yes, your circuitous ramblings have me double and triple checking the poster to see who the heck is writing now, Stig or BF. Freaky twin minds living on opposite ends of the country. Separated at birth perhaps.
Anyways, your comments regarding
The feeling of, "all the BS I had to endure...stress...blah blah blah" and you dump ME?" WTF? Resentment and bitterness central. So I guess I'm waiting for some kind of show of effort to initiate R discussion from her.
Major blow to the ego. Understandable. Resentment Central for sure. And your plan to wait for her to show some effort is probably the right one. I mean specifically related to the R.
But to be her friend again. This is very hard for me as I am still smarting from her zero effort to even discuss anything, let alone talk to an third-person counselor.
BTDT. The more I pushed, the further he went. You NEED to be a friend to her IF you want have a chance of healing the R. If not, then take the BF approach, no contact even if she initiates. That's up to you. My sense is you would really like to have her back despite all the hurt. I know I feel for you. It's a hard stage to get through.
she genuinely loves me. Said it would destroy her to lose me into the ether.
Heard same from H from beginning to end of separation and we are now back together so hold on to that (if you want). Sometimes their words really are more meaningful than their actions. Their actions suck but their feelings are still real, still salvagable. Don't give up on those 7 years if you are not ready to. But know that it will be on her terms for a while. Until the tide turns and she now wants to prove her words through her actions again.
So I guess I will know more as I start feeling out where our communications level is.
Is it totally off the radar right now? Do you talk at all? I think you need to start doing that. Maintain a connection, even if it is painful.
I can feel the love you have for her in your posts even if you are fighting resentment. To steal from HP, she would be LUCKY to have you as her H again.