That book sounds really good. It is exactly right (and agrees with my C) that you have really no chance of successfully navigating conflicts, and thus R dynamics, without a good measure of self-esteem. I like how it breaks things down into specific issues, I hadn't heard that before. It gives me vision of how to tackle problems if I can approach them as individual issues, not just as one huge problem. Thanks.
I also like that mixed esteem idea, that fits me to a T. I just wish I had a recording of myself so that I could see first hand the change that comes over me going from work to home. The good thing is, I am fixing that. I feel confidence oozing into my home life, and the W is responding.
Interesting thoughts about expectations too. We often talk about how that when we expect things in a R, it can often have the reverse effect. Well, it is also true that if we expect bad treatment, very likely we will get it.
I like those questions and exercises you mention. I think I'll definitely have to bring up some of these points to my C next time I meet him. I think I am getting close to the point where I have the foundation to begin assertiveness training. Of course I have BF, Stig, and NOPkins to help too.
As far as the not posting, same answer that I gave Corri. That was a "glob" thing I said, worrying that I offended you two and that is why you stopped responding. Old habits die hard. I appreciate your posts, whatever you can give.
You are right, I was living in a fantasy world. It is so easy to see that now (I hope you are listening any of you who are considering an A). That fantasy was just a thin sheen covering a nightmare. Thanks for the kind words and your help.
Smoking the esteem pipe. Getting a little high.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I appreciate your posts, whatever you can give.
