Thanks for your perspective. I just don't want to offend anyone of a different or non-relgious viewpoint.
However, it is an interesting point. Sometimes the fixers among us, the relationship idolators make absolutely everything about the R. "Yesterday H used to like to drink coffee with me. Now he has switched to tea and takes it alone to his office" - tragedy, eek, OMG what does this mean for our R? Maybe it means that H wants to cut his caffeine intake. Maybe it means that he wants to mediate/reflect. Maybe he uses the time to prepare for the day. OR Horrors, maybe he is upset/mad at you and wants some alone time. OR EVEN Maybe, he is carrying on an email affair. The point is - do the fixers among us find out or do we just stew about it endlessly. Or worse, do we shame an innocent S for innocent behavior. "H you used to take your coffee with me in the morning. Why do you do it alone now? Don't you still love me?" Isn't it a "sin" of sorts to make presumptions about the one we love? Shouldn't we treat that person as we want to be treated and say what we're really thinking? "Hey H, I notice you like to take your tea alone in the morning now and I miss you. Is it ok if we do that together sometimes?" What a much cleaner interaction.
My H doesn't drink coffee or tea but I am guilty as sin of ascribing motives to H's behaviors without asking, putting thoughts in his head and words in his mouth and worshipping at the totem of the "perfect R" in my head. Wonder what H's perfect R looks like? What if this is it?
