Tom, what I am understanding from reading your thread here is that both you and your W have had As? Or did she just recently start speaking with her old BF after she found out about your A? It seems from what you have shared that your M has a power struggle going on between the two of you. Threats of moving out, D, and now the possibility of OM moving in to stay with you all? Have THE BOTH of you ever attended MC? I think joint counseling here as well as perhaps IC. Yes you may "love each other" but you also seem to both have no problem pushing each other's buttons in a very destructive way and now if OM moves in the children have a very good chance in being used as pawns in all this. You both are reaching out to each other through this struggle for something. You need to both find out what it is if you do want this to work out.
