my infidelity and the aftermath

[RBinBR]

Tom,

I think you're on the right path. Most affairs do not result in a D, and you're starting with a penitent heart.

Some key no-nos for you are not to beg or whine, not to attempt to justify the affair or blame her, not to tell her you've changed (show her, but don't tell her), make your time and email and phone accountable to her so that she can check up on you in the future (you don't have a right to privacy from your spouse), and don't try to fight her if she does talk about getting a D.

I'm so sorry that you're here. Keep us posted on developments.