My heart goes out to you right now. You need to see a lawyer right now to get a good picture of what the likely outcome of a contested divorce would be. Mediation may or may not be to your benefit and you shouldn't agree to it without knowing where you're likely to end up the other way.
I pray that you will soon heal from the hurt and embrace the opportunity of a fresh start. I know that true happiness is out there somewhere, Hope. You don't need H (or any other man) to be happy, because true happiness comes from within.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
