NY--very interesting comments, your whole philosophy on the win/loss perspective. I've never really thought of it that way, but it does make some sense--very interesting.
I really have to say that what my W and I had before she went south was worth remembering, so that helps me hang onto the good, and remember the powerful--thanks for that, and some good things for you to reflect on too Hope.
NY, you really focus on the fact of not buying in to the bad that comes from the other side--thanks for that as well, as it's far too easy to second-guess everything and start pointing fingers back at ourselves--something else very worth remembering; as well as, seeing our spouses for the bad they are/were--worth reflecting on in order to put things in perspective--quite powerful.
Hope, it's also nice to have NY's and other's perspective that asking questions definitely would not always produce the truth/closure--I found that out the hard way from other sources about the long-lasting/new to me/true to her nature of my W--she was a bit like the force that precipitated the Titanic disaster--all she ever revealed was the tip of the iceberg of her double-life; the greatest most damaging part was always below the surface, always lied about, the hugest part of the affairs--the true ship-sinker, so to speak.
Good thoughts from NY Hope. Well done NY. Take a hard look at them Hope, there's an awful lot of good perceptive thought penned there.
