No he's not trying to spin this as "innocent"....that was my choice of words....I didn't mean to give that impression. It was more my taking his "that wasn't my intent" comments and spinning it so he would have more of an impact on him with my statement.
He knows what he did wasn't innocent, he knows (and has known) that it was wrong. When I talked to him today...and told him that there's no more going hunting without me anymore, no more trips of any kind whithout me anymore....he was surprisingly fine with that....and my siamese twins comment. I honestly after everything I've been dealing with expected some resistance on that.
One reason I said no more hunting without me is because he hunts in an area where his best friend lives. See one of the women I know he at the very least e-mailed, lived in that same remote area by the lake. She also provided him with her phone numbers (BTW...I called them and spoke with her H too)....although I've found no proof he actually called her or she called him (he would have used his cell phone, and I'm tracking that...he doesn't know that.) I told him that mere fact that she lives there....where he goes hunting with Bill has me freaking out. He wasn't at all defensive about me going with him when he goes hunting, his only comment was made out of almost confusion...."but Bill always goes with me." To which I replied....I'm sure he does, but I've known friends to help friends cheat. When I said that I could tell by his voice I had an affect on him....he respects Bill utterly, he's another father figure to my H, like a grandpa to Ian. His only response was "if Bill knew what I was doing he'd have had nothing to do with it, he'd have told me how wrong I was and have probably beaten the crap out of me." Now is he telling me the truth? Dunno. All I can do is go off the utter sound of shame in his voice....I truly believe, his own best friend didn't know about this.
He know he's going to have to get REAL ok with talking this to death until I'm ok with it. He's going to have to deal with this until I am satisfied.
This thing is far from over and I'm taking it one day at a time....literally.
