GEl, I am so sorry for your pain. I admire the way you listened to that inner voice of yours and checked up on the computer. The road you are on is not easy but you have the strength and ability to work through this situation, move forward and heal. The optimist in me is hoping for a postitive outcome...increased intimacy with your H based on honesty and openness, and the chance to keep your beautiful family intact.
Now is the time for boundary setting. Remember his words are just words...he must follow through with actions. The " lovingly detach" idea is a good ideal, but you are going to have a lot of anger at the breach of trust and H has to be able to handle it.
I think you both could use individual counseling. You can decide to not make any decisions as you assess how you are feeling. I hope and pray for your happiness...you are such a fine person.
