You are a fixer. A tryer. I see it in your interactions here with TSinA and Cemar. Your a very positive, hopeful, trusting type. Maybe... if I just.... perhaps .... <sigh> your stregth is also your weakness. it makes you the chaser in your R's. The one without very much power.
If you want your H to respect you, if you want this serious breach of boundary to be recognized by him, once again, I reiterate that you both need a timeout. With him being the one to initiate and try to fix things. You mention your son, and his needs, but if your H doesnt get his problem, and take this seriously, that is going to be the outcome anyways. better it happen now for a short period of time then months of turmoil down the road, and a permanent break. You can also have your H stay somewhere else. Schnarchs --tough love is what is neccessary here. IMO. Love yourself and your worth. you will only get it if you earn it.
I saw you mentioned your x stopped drinking when you finally got fed up and left. Dont let this get to where you are fed up. Lovingly detach. HARD.
This is not a small problem of your H's. Any weakness/waffeling on your part will be abused. It will. ONLY you can prevent that. Please do it.
I hope you can hear this through your turmoil.
Its very very hard to defend ourselves from the ones we really love. I know. Now, is your chance to obtain some power and get your H to chase you.
