Quote: I have bent over backwards trying to meet his needs only to be lied to time and time again. It stops NOW!
Lass, I don't think this is a mere pasttime for him, or a way to blow off steam. I can't imagine that he'd destroy R after R over something that he could have stopped. I think he is indeed addicted, or has some sort of complex (madonna/whore?) that prevents him from reacting to his SO in a sexually mature way. You telling him to stop, or him promising to stop, is really just more of the same. Probably what he's been saying to himself since he began doing this to the very first woman.
I would ask him two things:
1. At what point were you going to tell me about this? 2. What are your plans for working through this psychological compulsion?
I would not pussyfoot around and call it anything other than what it is--a psychological problem. Many many guys look at porn but this is not what we're dealing with here. He has a history of shutting out the women in his life--blaming it all on them--and funneling his sexuality into the darker realm.
He must come to the decision, on his own, that he is ready to do the intensive therapy he will need to do in order to be able to sexually interact with a woman. I think your MC will be out of her league and he will want to contact a sex therapist.
I wish this wasn't happening to you. I'm sure your heart has been blown to bits.
