Well everyone....I'm sitting here in tears right now because I just found out that my LDH has been on adultfriendfinder.com for three years now.
Some things just hadn't been adding up to me, I guess you could say my gut just was saying "he's still not telling me the truth". So, last night I downloaded a free keystroke tracker, just a free demo version that would only last 10 days.
Today when I arrived home I found....he logged on and chatted with some women. Did some looking around in his account and found he's been on it for 3 F'in years....the entire time we've been married!
I couldn't wait until he got home to say something to him about this...so I called him. At first he tried to deny he'd been there until I flat-out stated. "You don't seem to understand....I'm looking at your user name.....I'm looking at your password....I'm looking at the time you logged in. Oh....and here's what your profile says......."
He got really quiet at that point....there was no denying what I was telling him. He knew he'd been flat-out caught. The thing is....I figured with this 10-day demo...I wouldn't find anything. I didn't expect to have something show up within 10-hours of downloading the program.
The thing that is just absolutely killing me right now is that....what he wrote he's looking for, is the EXACT same type of woman I am!!! In the question part of his profile where it asks "how big of a role does sex play in your life?....he wrote......my sex life has become barren and that's why I'm here!!!!" Like I'm the one denying him!
Right now....I'm trying to stay put until he can get home without wrecking the entire freaking house. Fortunately my S is still at daycare so he can't see what a wreck I am....but right now I swear....I'm at my wits-end!
Gather your wits about you, breathe deeply. At least now all the puzzle pieces are on the table, and you now know that you are not and have never been crazy....
God, I wish I had some words of wisdom and comfort for you...
Don't know what to say other than to give you a cyber hug
((((((((((((GEL)))))))))))))))
Gee, maybe you should have responded to his ad instead of calling him. After all, it sounds like you are the perfect match for him...everything he's looking for in a woman, including the high libido. Reminds me of this:
"I was tired of my lady We'd been together too long Like a worn-out recording Of a favorite song So while she lay there sleepin I read the paper in bed And in the personal columns There was this letter I read:
If you like pina coladas And getting caught in the rain If you're not into yoga If you have half a brain If you like making love at midnight In the dunes on the cape Then I'm the love that you've looked for Write to me and escape
I didn't think about my lady I know that sounds kinda mean But me and my old lady Had fallen into the same old dull routine So I wrote to the paper Took out a personal ad And though I'm nobody's poet I thought it wasn't half bad
Yes I like pina coladas And getting caught in the rain I'm not much into health food I am into champagne I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon And cut through all this red tape At a bar called O'Malleys Where we'll plan our escape
So I waited with high hopes And she walked in the place I knew her smile in an instant I knew the curve of her face It was my own lovely lady And she said, oh it's you Then we laughed for a moment And I said, I never knew
That you liked pina coladas And getting caught in the rain And the feel of the ocean And the taste of the champagne If you like making love at midnight In the dunes on the cape You're the lady I've looked for Come with me and escape
If you like pina coladas And getting caught in the rain If you're not into yoga If you have half a brain If you like making love at midnight In the dunes on the cape Then I'm the love that you've looked for Write to me and escape Yes I like pina coladas And getting caught in the rain I'm not much into health food I am into champagne I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon And cut through all this red tape At a bar called O'Malleys Where we'll plan our escape..."
Right now I honestly don't know what to say either guys.
All I could do at the time was calmly let him know he'd been flat-out busted.
I've printed out pages upon pages of where he's e-mailed women..... I'm not sure if I've done this for myself or for him to visually see he's so damned busted...but I have.
Right now I don't know what will happen when he gets home after work. I don't know what I'm going to say. Part of me wishes I hadn't found out, but honestly....I am glad that I do know for sure now.
As far as I'm concerned he has been cheating on me. He's been lying to me, he's been sharing this hedonistic side of himself (that I've been begging for) with other women....even if it is via chat or e-amil. For me, that's cheating.
The worst part about it is the double life element.
The man has deep psychological problems, Lass. You don't go through multiple wives and girlfriends, denying them all sex and claiming that it's their doing, unless there is something utterly broken about how you view your sexuality.
I’m so sorry for you. I agree with HP. From my perspective, I could understand his actions if it was Z-Bube or GGB or some other long suffering sex starved man. But with you… it doesn’t make sense.
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
don't know what to say except we are here for you (((hug)))
((GEL)))