I'm trying to back-track through you posts, but you have an awful lot of them.
I'm kind of latching on to this idea that I may be giving my W too much positive attention and support through the separation process. I've really adopted the 'bad guy' role because anything else just seems to piss the wife off big time. Its clear that she sees any resistance and/or even sticking up for myself as evidence of not having made the changes she needed. From her perspective, I owe her big-time.
Can you tell me anything about how you approached the divorce proceedings? It sounds like you don't have kids which must have made things easier in some ways. I've posted on Rich's thread about finding a place where I am not so caught up in trying to reconcile, but also where I am conscious of the need to maintain a good relationship with my kids Mom. Did you have a strategy for the negotiations, did you LRT, go dark, whatever.
I'm well aware that it will ultimately be up to my wife to make the changes in her head that are necessary to recommit if this thing were ever to work out. She can complain that I didn't make the changes by not forgiving her, but I'm coming to realize that she never really came to the table after the first bomb, she just was checking out how high I'd jump.
Right now, I'm just trying to figure out how to gracefully get out of her way. It sounds like you think that maintaining a high degree of closeness, even as friendly co-parents, might actually keep her from confronting her own stuff. What do you think?
