Sorry, Johnp, but I'm going to indulge in a hijack of your newly formed thread!

Actually, Always... I think your post was amazing AND brilliant, and I almost fell out of my chair in awe. I can't think of a better illustration of respectful and authentic communication than yours. Let me tell you, you're a peach for sharing that exchange.

Nickel's exaggerating the days thing. It was a few hours. And she WAS skeptical, but she's a pretty quick study. I was pretty thrilled when she called to give me the gory details that evening.

Once you get practice in authentic communication, it gets easier. I still have some folks where it won't work... my mother comes to mind. But I do practice this communication with my XH and daughter quite frequently, and I'm getting much better about projecting and talking about how I feel.

If it helps any of you, before I begin I say a prayer... asking for guidance and help in listening and comprehending and speaking my truth without unwarranted injury. It seems to work.

I'm not perfect at this, Always. Far from it. But I've improved 100% since a year ago. Practice makes perfect, so just keep at it.

Johnp--Back to you, darling. Even though you did a good job communicating in this style, I'm thinking your W just doesn't want to get past the snooping part--at least, right now.

My instinct tells you that you're going to have to validate her distrust and allow her to figure out how she feels about all of this so soon. Can you muster up more patience and compassion?

And to answer your question earlier, no, I don't think you need to imagine a life relegated to worrying about this guy. But let's untangle this one thread at a time, okay?

Betsey

Last edited by Underdog; 02/17/06 01:43 AM.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein