I don't have a well thought out answer just yet, but what I want to have you mull over (and yes mull is my new favorite word) is this.
"The next time I feel like I need to snoop, I will NOT do it, instead I will go have an emotionally honest conversation with my W about those intense feelings. I do not expect her to alleviate them, but instead of acting out, I will share with her my fears. All I'm here to do is share with her. If she want's to get defensive and take it as me blaming her or her doing something wrong I will recognize that those are her emotions that I am not responsible for. All I am here to do is share in an emotionally honest way. I'm not asking her to do ANYTHING except listen. She needn't take any action regarding them, nor does she even need to respond."
But I'm coming back with more, cause I have more to give you on this whole scenario.
O and O.
Nickel
"The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy."
